January 2017 was the last year I made your typical "Resolutions". I had my daughter in November 2016 and I was determined to "fix myself" so that I could be a good role model for her. I remember about mid-February sitting in the bathroom feeling lower than low. Close to tears, feeling like no matter how hard I try, I just can't stick with it. I just can't get my shit together long enough to make changes in my body, in my life, in my heart.
Something struck me, I didn't want my daughter to watch me beat myself up...drag myself in the dirt. To watch her mama look in the mirror with sad eyes and see all her faults and flaws. Because I knew that is what she would start to see in herself...but I knew nothing else. I have been hating and fighting my body since I was 15 years old. I started my first diet at 16, when I was healthy, strong and a dancer...when there was nothing physically wrong with my weight or my body.
After that many years, it is hard to figure out what to do different. How do you find a different path to health when you have been on the wrong one for so long? May 2017 is when I found the book Intuitive Eating (IE). It was a whole new perspective on food, dieting and lifestyle. I would like to touch on the 10 principles of IE and my experiences and thoughts on each.
10 Principles of Intuitive Eating
✬ Principle 1: Reject the Diet Mentality ✬
This is #1 for a reason...and is probably one of the hardest things. After so many years it isn't so easy to let go of all of the healthy vs unhealthy thoughts. After so many years invested in learning what is good for me and what isn't and spending so much time counting calories in and burned etc. To let all of that go was HARD. I spent quite sometime trying to figure out what to do with all the time I no longer spent obsessing over food...it was almost like a crisis identity. Who was I without all of it?? Truthfully, once I got over the initial shock, it was amazing to learn who I am and what I enjoy.
✬ Principle 2: Honor Your Hunger ✬
This one was in itself...a mountain to climb. I no longer felt what we consider normal hunger cues. I found that if I tried to eat when I waited until I felt "hungry" I would literally end up with nasty headaches and would get very nauseated and quite ill. It took my body quite sometime to finally realize that I was no longer going to starve it. After the last several years I can pretty much tell when I am hungry and can in turn fuel my body. It was a long road and occasionally if I don't listen to those cues...my body actually freaks out and goes back into panic mode.
✬ Principle 3: Make Peace with Food ✬
The day that I decided that something needed to change was when I read an article titled something like "If your weight loss has stalled, try removing these 2 foods from your diet." Punchline...it was dried fruit and nuts...my favorite snack. My thought was, so I should just eat nothing at this point...nothing is healthy. Making peace with food was imperative and again after all those years of listening to diet culture tell you that basically every food is bad at some point...well it is hard to let nothing be bad. It is here that the real change begins.
✬ Principle 4: Challenge the Food Police ✬
Which brings us straight to the next principle. This is where you begin to tell that voice in your head a resounding NO every time the "good" and "bad" food thoughts creep in. This is also where you learn to silence those negative thoughts that creep in. So many times did I see a healthy/thin woman and begin to think "Man, I really need to do something to fix this...NO!" Scream a resounding NO and replace it with how you feel!
✬ Principle 5: Feel Your Fullness ✬
There are 2 parts to this I think. First, to be able to actually feel your hunger, know when you actually feel full and honoring it. Eating when you are hungry, what you need and stopping when you are full. Second, not coming down hard on yourself when you are still learning your cues and even after. There are times when we eat past fullness, truly it is ok. Your body will digest and I have noticed that when I have eaten past fullness, I don't eat as much at the next meal. Your body naturally adjusts.
✬ Principle 6: Discover the Satisfaction Factor ✬
I never thought that being satisfied from eating would be an issue. Spending years measuring every last bite of food and never wanting to share because this was "all I could have". I didn't find much pleasure in eating. I enjoyed the taste of food but how can one truly enjoy something when all you do is stress about the next meal while you are still eating this one. There are so many things to enjoy while eating; the smell, the taste, the texture, even the way you plate your food can be pleasing. Take the time to enjoy and savor your food and meals. Focus on the one currently on your plate and eating to satisfaction will keep your body and mind happy until the next time you are hungry and get to enjoy another meal.
✬ Principle 7: Cope with Your Emotions without Using Food ✬
This is probably one of the hardest parts about IE...and one that you may need some help and guidance. Right after I read this book, I discovered yoga. Yoga, both on and off the mat, helped me look deep within and I in turn healed many parts of my mind and soul. I often used food to try and cope with my emotions - fear, anxiety, loneliness, boredom etc. It is difficult...but we must work through these emotions and not try and bury them. Find what works for you...counseling, journaling, yoga, meditation, breathwork...and most importantly, if you need help, don't hesitate to reach out and find someone that can help you work through it all, especially if there is trauma involved.
✬ Principle 8: Respect Your Body ✬
This is probably the biggest difference between the most common diets and IE. I find that positivity and respecting the body that you have and not beating it down is by far more effective. I found it much more encouraging than constantly berating myself over something that was never mine to have. Genetics play a huge part in this and you have to respect the make-up that you have and not fight to be something that is just not in the genetic cards for you.
✬ Principle 9: Exercise - Feel the Difference ✬
Now this was a big one for me. I got all wrapped up in exercise, because I did actually enjoy it. However, it sucked me into a huge vortex pretty quickly. I have always loved how I feel during and after physical exercise but truly did it for all the wrong reasons. Honestly, I never truly felt progress until I stopped the dieting cycle. I spent a good 10 years trying to build strength and only when I stopped restricting so much did I actually feel like I got stronger. I can FINALLY do a full push-up, yes just one, but I couldn't even do a single modified push-up prior, so I will take the win! Letting go of how many calories I burned and just doing movement just to feel good, huge step in the right direction. I still vary my workouts and challenge myself, but I don't kill myself. There is where progress lies.
✬ Principle 10: Honor Your Health with Gentle Nutrition ✬
This one rounds out IE perfectly. While we never want to restrict to the point of returning to unhealthy habits of the restrict-binge cycle, we need to listen to our bodies. My experiences the last year or so, excessive sugar gives me tension headaches and my digestion becomes very sluggish. I have found sweet treats that are satisfying yet light so that I don't end up bringing on these negative effects. There are certain fried foods that give me terrible heartburn, so I eat them less often. There is a balance and finding that balance that works for you is the goal.
Go deeper: purchase the book here!
IE has been under much fire for being unrealistic and unhealthy. For me it changed and saved my life. The key is that we are advocating and focusing on being healthy...in body, mind and soul. Shaming someone for not having a body that was not theirs to have in the first place, putting unrealistic expectations on physical health and assuming that appearance has anything to do with how healthy a person is. There is not one size fits all for body type or for health. I truly believe that if I had not been made to believe there was something wrong with my body type and deep down genetics, I would not have gained the weight in the first place. There needs to be a change in our world and society in the way that we view health and I believe that this is a good beginning.
It is amazing sitting here thinking back to my life prior to this. I would never have dreamed of having this kind of freedom in my life. I think of the hours, days, months and yes even years spent nitpicking and micromanaging every aspect in my life to try and morph my body and in turn just ruined my metabolism. I am grateful to have this available to all and hope that more people learn to listen to their bodies so that they can live full meaningful filled with light and love!! If you struggle with a healthy relationship with food, this is a excellent resource to have and begin your journey to a healthy body and in turn yes, mind and soul.
