Lack of Focus with Spiritual Growth

I used to joke with my husband that I either did my workout or the dishes...it was true.  But now that my physical body is stronger and my stamina has increased I am able to fit in both.  That being said...I notice the mental and spiritual fatigue that much more.  I think taking care of the body is the easiest first step on this journey because unless you feel well physically, it is tough to take care of the mind and soul.

Something needed to change so that I can build the strength in the mental and spiritual bodies too.  However, that is easier said than done.  I feel like that dog from Up, constantly distracted by that 'SQUIRREL'.  We laugh but it is so true.  I sit down with a book and then hear about another great one that pulls my focus and on, and on.

 

Having so many good resources in this day and age is great!!  We can easily get a book on our phones, so many podcasts, apps and other resources to access these tools.  With that for me comes so much inspiration and excitement and that has gotten me into some trouble with focusing on one task at a time.

 

Here are a few things that helped me to reign in my enthusiasm and regain the focus to continue to learn and grow:

1. Take a breath and just relax!

Part of the struggle for me is wanting to learn as much as possible as quick as possible.  The trouble with this is that I want to learn everything...that I end up not learning anything.  I used to think this was my "all or nothing" personality; either I do it all or I do nothing.  I am coming to realize this for me was an excuse for having no focus and eventually just give up trying.  So take a DEEP breath with me and relax.  Just learn to enjoy the journey...that other thing will be there for when you finish what you are working on now.

 

2. Start with what is really calling to you!

Enthusiasm for me was never a problem until I had to create my own curriculum.  After completing school for a while I thought it was all about just work.  Making money to create a life.  I have slowly realized that our human experience is to never stop learning.  For quite a while I was in a yoga studio that curated what I was learning but having left that environment to create my own path, it has been difficult to choose what to focus on.  So I just picked what is calling to me at that moment and moved forward.

3. Create a series of lists!

I find that these lists are helpful to keep my focus!  "Oh look at that great new book" add that to the list.  "Ooo, that podcast sounds awesome" add that to the list.  I have a list for almost everything!  Books, podcasts, yoga classes/courses, and even big dreams.  Things that I would love to do that just aren't in the cards right now.  Yes sometimes I look at these lists and think...I should be getting these done faster...but in the end, I can only go so fast.  There is no way to speed up spiritual growth, one day, one book, one class at a time.

4. Keep an open mind!

For quite sometime I thought I had to pick a certain path, like there was only one direction for me.  I quickly learned that is quite restricting and there is so much more out there.  Don't allow your focus to be pulled into tunnel vision.  I am not talking about just certain subject but also different teachers on the same subject.  They maybe teaching about the same thing but the different perspective may help you understand just that much more.

5. Surround yourself with support!

This for me has been quite the learning curve.  I thought I wanted to have a big group that I could engage with and for a while I did that.  I started in church, then through Facebook groups, then the yoga studio.  I learned quickly that large groups are not for me.  I got very overwhelmed with so many people and trying to engage with each and every one.  I found a few good friends and of course my husband and we help support each other along this journey.  Find what works best for you and grow with them.

6. Don't forget to set some goals!

This is so important!  I found that setting small goals was best for my personality.  I still fall into that all or nothing mentality easily.  I must meditate for 30 minutes.  I must read this book in a day.  I must do all these things now and get to my goal.  The truth is that this journey is just that a journey.  There is no end goal, but that can easily turn into almost a lazy approach and never completing anything.  These goals are important but should not be an "end" goal.  Keep them simple and inspired, never restricting and impossible.

7. Realize that it is never perfect!

I seriously fall into what I call "growth burnout".  Sometimes, I dive in to learning and spiritual growth so hard that I find myself mentally and spiritually exhausted.  I used to come down pretty hard on myself because who has time for a break with all the things I have on my list.  But sometimes...you just need to read a good fiction book, listen to a fun podcast or even just jam to some music.  Not only do I feel that it is not only normal but good for the soul.  There is nothing better than having balance!

These are a few things that worked for me but in the end it is up to you.  What do you need to keep on working towards your best self??  Take it one day at a time and just enjoy the journey.  You path is unique and there really isn't anything stopping you from moving forward.  Choose a path, make a plan and just enjoy! 💓

Entering a new phase in GROWTH

 

This has been an interesting couple of years.  Everything that has been going on in this crazy world has brought about many challenges but also much more growth and development.  Coming into this year of 2021 I have had many goals come up, one being to read more.  Currently in May 2021 I am at 21 books and counting.  Many have been fiction books, I have discovered a few great series that I may spotlight in the near future.  Some have been non-fiction spanning from Yamas & Niyamas to Ayureveda.  These are the books that have prompted much more spiritual and mental goals and growth.

One of the biggest things I have been working on it taking things one day, one step at a time.  I have come to realize that I am TIRED of the all or nothing mentality that I so often allow to rule my life.  I set ridiculous goals and in the end, failing.  It is a constant up and down...and something that drives me crazy.  I have been working on it slowly, first with my movement practices.  Previously, I would go through about week 3 of a challenge and then I would miss a day and just stop all together.  This year, I have been through 2.5 challenges and am 2/3 of the way through another.  I am excited to report on the latest as it is FANTASTIC!  I have seen much improvement in strength and endurance.

This blog has been yet another that I set too high expectations and they drove me to fail.  When I came back here, I was half tempted to delete all the previous posts to start new.  But going back and reading some of them, there is so much in them that I absolutely loved that I decided to just continue from where I left off.  I feel I had a great basis for the blog, however I just expected way to much from myself at the beginning.  As always, setting myself up to fail.

All of that being said, I no longer want to do that.  I want to just write what I feel, when it comes.  I no longer want to spell out exactly what I think should happen, then stop when it doesn't go the way planned...well no more.  I think that this is a really big step in growth toward a less stiff and stringent me.  That brings me to wanting to share more of me.  Prior to now I have been frightened to be in the spotlight and only putting out there what is "clinical".  Read a book, report on it.  I have come such a long way and am excited to share, well...me.

I also started a support page with a good friend of mine.  It is still in the beginning stages but could become a beautiful space for us to be able to bring together women to connect with and support each other.  Which seems especially important in these times.  Overall I think that we are having a pretty big awakening in life but we still have a long way to go.  I am bound and determined to do my part to help others and share my experience in growing and learning.

I have such a passion for life and am loving this process so much.  I am so thrilled to see where this next phase brings me.  Much love and light to you all! 💖

Feeling to Healing

Today I write with a heavy heart, heavy from hurt yet also heavy from healing.  My husband and I have been married for almost 11 years.  Many wonderful years filled with love, compassion, happiness, and yes, the occasional disagreement.  Without going into great detail, we hit not only a rocky patch but the largest bump in our marriage to date, and you know what...we are going to be ok.

After so much thinking and feeling over the last several days I figured why not blog them, it can only help...and might help someone else too.  I think that everything I have been doing to work towards healing my mind, body and soul over the last year has truly prepared me for these types of moments.  Previous to this work I would have buried the feelings, silently punished myself and my husband and it most likely would have lead to our undoing.

Here are the things I have learned during this experience.

• Communication is key!

Not only the key but is essential.  This was where the healing all begins, when we sit down and start talking about the problem.  Not ignoring, not being angry or defensive, but talking, listening and attempting to understand.  This may be difficult but you do need to have all 3 components or it will spiral downhill from there.

• Be honest with yourself as well as your spouse.

Honesty is hard, a lot of the times we just try to keep the peace.  Hold our true feelings, wants and needs just as to not rock the boat.  This will cause you to harbor resentment and eventually cause even more troubles in your relationship.  Being honest should not cause contention in your relationship when you are both open to the others needs and willing to compromise to help meet them.

• It is ok not to be ok!

After the initial conversation...it seemed like we were on the right path to healing.  Then for several days I just felt sadness...it literally felt like something was gripping my heart.  I got extremely frustrated thinking that I should be "over" this by now.  In reality...it had hurt, it is ok and normal to feel that sadness even if you have come to a resolution.

• You have to feel the feels...

Not only is it ok to feel those feelings but in order to move forward with your healing...it is important TO feel all those feelings.  A lot of the time you will feel them all!!  Let them come and then let them pass so that you can truly find your way to letting the heart and relationship heal.

• To forgive does not necessarily mean to forget...

Now this is what has been one of the hardest things for me...you know the saying "to forgive is to forget"?  Well what they don't mention is that when you forgive...it doesn't automatically make you forget.  Eventually, as long as the wound does not continue to be opened, we can forget.  But until them..it will come to mind.  Again, just let it pass.

• Be patient...it takes time to heal.

Last but not least...we have to be patient with both yourself and your spouse.  Another quote is that "time heals all wounds" and this is the truth.  Trust is built over time and if the trust is broken it takes time to rebuild.  Eventually it is reestablished, we just need to give it the time.

In the end, we are all human beings and part of having a human experience is making mistakes.  Sometimes those mistakes hurt others but that is no reason to close our heart to the love of others.  Humans are made to love and when we open our hearts we do risk getting hurt.  When you have a love that is strong enough to endure all the hardships, it is worth taking that chance.  Remember that we are all on a journey to our best selves...and the journey can be sweetened with that love if we allow it.

Take a moment to remind someone that you love them today and don't allow anything stand between you.  Because love is worth it. 💗💗

Featured Image Credit: Words of Wisdom & Quotes Cover

The time to start growing is TODAY!!!

I never believed that I would want to or even be able to write a blog, I never sat down and planned it and didn't think I was even qualified in anyway to try to put one together.  Then one day it hit me and I realized that the only thing I need is the desire to learn, the ability to grow and the want to share the things I learn with others.

I spent so much of my life striving for things that I thought I wanted only to realize so many years down the road that most of those things...were not me and not what my heart truly desired.  For so long I felt lost.  Then when I realized where I was...it was like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water on me.  Now not only did I not know who I was...but I felt like a fraud and that I had lost so much time trying to be something that I was not.

Not only have I learned that regret about past experiences is fruitless but they are truly the only way that we can actually learn and grow.  We can't sit and dwell on the past and we can't suffer in worry over the future.  The best way to get the most out of life is to live in the now.  Think about what we have experienced, be grateful for all we have learned and then just BE.

The best part of being alive on this earth today is all the resources we have to be able to grow each and every day.  That is what I want this blog to be about!  I want to take everything I have learned, experienced and enjoyed (or not) and put them into one place.  If anyone out there like me is unsure how to begin their journey to becoming the best version of you that you can be...this will be a good space to figure out how to start.

I will be taking somethings from each aspect of ourselves, the mind, body and soul and compiling the best leaders, books and information that I am able to find.  I will try out the latest yoga videos, I will read inspirational books and blogs, listen to the newest podcasts and find the most motivational people to follow.

Not everything will resonate with everyone but that is part of the point.  We have to keep moving searching our own souls to find our own path. Take a deep breath, look deep inside and find what makes you, you.  Who do you want to be?  What do you want to do?  What inspires you?  What gets you excited to wake up in the morning?  What makes you HAPPY??

Mostly I just want to be able to motivate myself along with others to live a life free of expectations, (yes, even your own) learn to enjoy the little things, keep a smile on your face and a song in your heart.  So let's take the first steps together and find what makes our own inner light shine.  🕉

Featured Image Credit: http://sumo.ly/Xhxg via @techbizgurl