Feeling to Healing

Today I write with a heavy heart, heavy from hurt yet also heavy from healing.  My husband and I have been married for almost 11 years.  Many wonderful years filled with love, compassion, happiness, and yes, the occasional disagreement.  Without going into great detail, we hit not only a rocky patch but the largest bump in our marriage to date, and you know what...we are going to be ok.

After so much thinking and feeling over the last several days I figured why not blog them, it can only help...and might help someone else too.  I think that everything I have been doing to work towards healing my mind, body and soul over the last year has truly prepared me for these types of moments.  Previous to this work I would have buried the feelings, silently punished myself and my husband and it most likely would have lead to our undoing.

Here are the things I have learned during this experience.

• Communication is key!

Not only the key but is essential.  This was where the healing all begins, when we sit down and start talking about the problem.  Not ignoring, not being angry or defensive, but talking, listening and attempting to understand.  This may be difficult but you do need to have all 3 components or it will spiral downhill from there.

• Be honest with yourself as well as your spouse.

Honesty is hard, a lot of the times we just try to keep the peace.  Hold our true feelings, wants and needs just as to not rock the boat.  This will cause you to harbor resentment and eventually cause even more troubles in your relationship.  Being honest should not cause contention in your relationship when you are both open to the others needs and willing to compromise to help meet them.

• It is ok not to be ok!

After the initial conversation...it seemed like we were on the right path to healing.  Then for several days I just felt sadness...it literally felt like something was gripping my heart.  I got extremely frustrated thinking that I should be "over" this by now.  In reality...it had hurt, it is ok and normal to feel that sadness even if you have come to a resolution.

• You have to feel the feels...

Not only is it ok to feel those feelings but in order to move forward with your healing...it is important TO feel all those feelings.  A lot of the time you will feel them all!!  Let them come and then let them pass so that you can truly find your way to letting the heart and relationship heal.

• To forgive does not necessarily mean to forget...

Now this is what has been one of the hardest things for me...you know the saying "to forgive is to forget"?  Well what they don't mention is that when you forgive...it doesn't automatically make you forget.  Eventually, as long as the wound does not continue to be opened, we can forget.  But until them..it will come to mind.  Again, just let it pass.

• Be patient...it takes time to heal.

Last but not least...we have to be patient with both yourself and your spouse.  Another quote is that "time heals all wounds" and this is the truth.  Trust is built over time and if the trust is broken it takes time to rebuild.  Eventually it is reestablished, we just need to give it the time.

In the end, we are all human beings and part of having a human experience is making mistakes.  Sometimes those mistakes hurt others but that is no reason to close our heart to the love of others.  Humans are made to love and when we open our hearts we do risk getting hurt.  When you have a love that is strong enough to endure all the hardships, it is worth taking that chance.  Remember that we are all on a journey to our best selves...and the journey can be sweetened with that love if we allow it.

Take a moment to remind someone that you love them today and don't allow anything stand between you.  Because love is worth it. 💗💗

Featured Image Credit: Words of Wisdom & Quotes Cover

21 day Meditation with Deepak Chopra

I recently posted about the benefits of meditation and recently had the joy of participating in Deepak Chopra's 21 day meditation.  When the notification came out about it I was a bit hesitant as the experience was titled "Energy of Attraction" and I was unsure that it would relate to me.  However, I was pleasantly surprised that a great deal of it actually meant a lot to me and had me looking at my life in a different way.

Right out of the gate the first question on day 1 was "What are your hopes and desires for this experience?" So instead of thinking too hard, since I was unsure what exactly I was getting into with the topic, I just wrote the first thing that came to mind PEACE.  I wanted to be able to find peace within my mind, with my body and through my soul.  I would like to touch on a few highlights from the experience, just to give you an idea of what these experiences are like.

Here are a few of my favorite quotes & moments.

"The deeper the desire the easier it is to manifest it"
     ◈ This seems backwards from the thoughts I had, always seems like the bigger it is the harder to manifest.  I am hoping to be able to see this throughout my life soon.

"How can someone with bad self-image harness power. Just being yourself, you direct the energy of attraction in the direction it needs to go"
     ◈ This has always been a tough thing to for me to realize.  It always seemed to me that I needed to BECOME something to be something...truth be told it is as simple as learning just to BE ME.

"Our true self is not of our creation - but Gods"
     ◈ Right on the heels of the last one...couldn't be more true.  If we remember that we are not completely alone in becoming our true self it takes off so much pressure and gives just a bit of support to help us find the right path.

"Have a clear intention. Don't muddy it with compromises or excuses. Have positive emotions around your desire. Be open to what the universe will send back once you send out your desire"
     ◈ This was a great realization.  Be clear and positive with your intentions but also be open to what comes back as it may not be exactly what you were expecting.  Instead of getting upset that it doesn't match...learn to go with the flow, something I have always struggled with but am slowly working through.

"Say yes to life and see how life suddenly starts working with you rather than against you"
     ◈ This one came to me prior to this experience but it was great to hear it and know it is important to becoming your true self.  If you are so busy focusing saying no to the life we have it is amazing that it can and will actually work against you.  We have to be open to what is sent our way and learn to enjoy each moment.

"Magic comes from 2 things that seem to contradict themselves: Unbounded awareness & focused awareness"
     ◈ This is going to be an interesting thing to learn...how to have both unbounded and focused awareness.  Seems that they can't go together but somehow in order to manifest our true selves it is necessary to learn how they can exist together.

"Nothing in your life is happening out of order"
     ◈ I have always felt like I have done my whole life out of order.  Everything seemed so backwards but pondering on this thought...it is ok.  The way our life happens is for a reason and we all find our true self in the end no matter the order.

"We ARE miraculous beings. You know who you are and that is enough"

Probably the one of the most enlightening days for me was day 4 Effortless Creation.  For me detaching myself from anything has always been really hard because to me it truly felt like I was either giving up or just not caring.  This day completely turned those thoughts upside down.

Deepak said "Detachment is not the same as Indifference" The journaling showed me that I not only have a hard time detaching when needed but I hold on to control so tightly it strangles any connection I could have to creativity and my true self.  I am nowhere near being able to detach completely yet but at least now I know the difference and what I need to work on to be able to invite more creativity into my life.

Though I did not achieve complete peace that was my goal for this experience, I was able to at least tap into some of the potential of it and give a good start to heading toward true and lasting peace.  I am excited to continue with my daily meditation to be able to keep heading in the right direction towards living mindfully.

If you have never participated in one of these 21 day programs I highly recommend them, it gives you a great foundation to grow your meditation practice and they are truly a rounded program with mantras and journal prompts. You can purchase them or sign up for updates on the next free 21 day experience here and look for my next post on tips to begin your own meditation practice.

Yoga Ritual with Adriene

This previous week I had the joy of going through a yoga program in Yoga with Adriene's member website.  The experience is a great one and I am planning on returning to it often.

It is a 7 day program called Yoga Ritual, a morning practice that starts with 15 minutes of movement and a 5 minute meditation.  During each of these she has a focus, here are the themes as well as the centering thought that I had with each practice.

     ◈ Day 1: Ground - My intention for the 7 days was to be patient with my thoughts, body and journey.  I can't expect all my goals to be met "now".  They joy is in the journey.
     ◈ Day 2: Stretch - I find that I am stretched too thin, always pushing to get the next thing done. A broken mind or body can't perform well. I need to take the time to rest both to be at my best.
     ◈ Day 3: Core - Our lives take a lot of strength, taking the time to build a strong core makes each aspect a little easier. A strong centered mind, body & soul brings about a strong journey.
     ◈ Day 4: Oxygen - This is one of the best days!!  Oh, to breathe is to be alive.
     ◈ Day 5: Detox - I like to think of detoxing as rinsing.  We can rinse the body of tension, rinse the mind of negative thoughts and rinse the soul of unhappiness.
     ◈ Day 6: Power - Powerful practices are some of my favorites, they leave me feeling like I truly can do anything.  Anything is possible.
     ◈ Day 7: Ease - I began today feeling very sore and tired.  This was a lovely reminder to be gentle with my mind, body and soul.

Along with the program she encourages you to have your own ritual, her suggestion is starting the morning off with a glass of lemon water and a walk each day, any length.  Here is a calendar that she provided to be able to keep track of the journey through the ritual.

For my ritual, I did an extra meditation and journaling each morning.  Each evening I did some movement to improve my strength or endurance.

At the end of the 7th day she also invites you to continue the ritual for 30 days.  I can definitely see the benefit for continuing the ritual as the 7 days certainly helped me feel more centered and relaxed.

Overall the program is great for beginners as well as intermediate and a ritual is definitely something to incorporate in your day to day.  As Adriene always says, find what feels good.  If her suggestions don't work for you...then find what does!!

Featured Image Credit: yogawithadriene.com

Book Feature: The Miracle Morning

To begin our featured books on the blog I thought one of the best to start with is The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod.  This book has certainly changed my life!!

Hal begins by telling what inspired the book to come to be.  The events in his life have not been the easiest and it is amazing that he was able to take all those experiences and create something so special that has helped thousands of people.  Not just to become a morning person but to better every aspect of their lives as well.

The basis of the book is to start each day with what he calls the SAVERS.  Just taking time to do these, even for just a minute each, and start your day with good energy and a positive mindset can make the difference between staying still in life and making those positive life changes.

He has tailored the miracle morning to many different types of people, from families to entrepreneurs, and from what I can find a few different languages as well.  There is something for everyone to learn from this book.  I personally have done so much growing since finding this book.

I went from telling everyone that I was not a morning person and never would be.  I would roll out of bed every morning about 15 minutes before I had to leave the house, throw on whatever clothes were the closest and did my makeup quickly in the car when I got to work.  I spent all day, everyday in a frenzied panic because I would start my day that way.

Now I still do my makeup in the car when I get to work...but the change is how I wake up every morning.  I don't quite yet do everything the book suggests in the morning...but I wake up 2 hours prior to having to leave the house.  I do prayer, meditation, journaling, yoga and sometimes I read while I drink my coffee.  All before I leave the house!!

I have come to learn to LOVE my mornings and my days go so much smoother and I am certainly a happier person!!  All it took was learning to change a few things in my mind and giving it a try.  I still love my evenings as much as I used to so I feel like my life is complete and well rounded.  I feel like I have time to improve myself body, mind and soul!

If you only had enough money to purchase one book today, I would recommend this over any out there. Take the time to start making small changes to your day to be able to find the best you that you can be.  Let me know in the comments how things went for you!

Here are a few places that you can hear from and get in touch with Hal:
Website
Blog
Podcast
Facebook
Instagram
YouTube
Twitter

Here are the support sites for The Miracle Morning as well.
Website
Facebook

The Benefits of Meditation

 

As I am currently going through the 21 day meditation from Deepak Chopra I find myself not only thinking on the benefits of meditation but actually feeling them.  I have flirted with having a meditation practice for some time now and am finally starting to have a consistent practice, but actually feeling those benefits from them.

There are many studies connecting meditation to physical wellness.  "The relaxation response [from meditation] helps decrease metabolism, lowers blood pressure, and improves heart rate, breathing, and brain waves," says cardiologist Herbert Benson, MD, via WebMD.

Though I don't have any testing showing the physical benefits, I have much experience with some of the mental and emotional effects of doing consistent meditation each day.  Here are a few things that I have personally experienced just to give you an idea of some of the great things that can come.

        🙏 Less stress - I am sure that the daily meditation helps in lowering stress but I have also found it easier in times of stress to come back to quieting the mind. Even if that is just with one quick deep breath, I am able to calm myself for the work ahead.

        🙏 Lowered anxiety and depression - I am sure that my husband can put his 2 cents in on this one.  Before meditation I was one that would go from high anxiety to low depression pretty quickly.  I have not rid myself completely of these problems but they come less and less.  I am hoping to report back they have gone entirely in time.
 

        🙏  Increased focus - This one is the seller for me!  I previously had a problem with starting 100 things...and never finishing anything.  I find it easier to focus and complete one task before moving to another.

        🙏 Improved memory - I am sure you have heard the phrase "In one ear and out the other".  I was notorious for forgetting things almost instantly.  Now I can proudly say that I can recall things...maybe not perfectly depending on how busy I was at the time but hey, improvement is improvement. 😉
 

        🙏 More positive & happy - I have always been a positive person but it was more of the "fake it til you make it" forced positivity.  I am just plain happy at this point...no more faking here.

        🙏 More relaxed - I used to get quite the tension headaches but meditating helps my body relax.  I have maybe had two tension headaches in the last year and those were during high stress moments.
 

        🙏  More inspiration and creativity - I have always been a creative person but that seems to have been blocked previously.  Opening your heart and mind really allows you to tap into these and really let yourself be who you are meant to be.

        🙏 Increased mindfulness and awareness - Last but not least...I have found myself truly living in the moment.  Not focusing on a million things running through my head but actually being mindful and aware of the moment and my surroundings!
 

I know that was a lot...but it seems the benefits of meditation help your mind, body and soul in so many ways.  I have become a better mom being able to focus directly on my children when they need me.  I have become a better employee being able to keep calm in the heat of the moment and get my work done under pressure.  I have become a better human...not so quick to rise to anger and being more compassionate to others as I have found compassion for myself.
 

Yes!  All these things came through finding a meditation practice!!  You can tap into mindfulness too!!  Over the next few weeks I will share more about meditation!  I will also share my complete thoughts on the 21 day meditation I am doing once I finish!!  I truly believe that mindfulness can help create a positive more compassionate world so let's all take that moment each day.  🕉